Materialist Culture from Chinese Gold Diggers

First, let’s define the noun “gold-digger.” A gold-digger is a woman who forms relationships with men purely to obtain money or gifts from them. This means that to a gold-digger, a man’s economic standing is of the highest priority, not emotional bonds.

This is interesting, because in my personal experience, the topic of love comes up quite frequently with Chinese women. It comes up frequently with all women as a matter of fact.

But they are the ones that consider themselves the self-appointed gatekeepers of what love means and how its implications are meant to play out in everyday life.

“If you love me, then you’ll do ‘X’”

“If you love me, then you won’t do ‘X’”

It seems that women have a very detailed rule book when it comes to what male conduct should be in any given situation. It’s also notable that their detailed rule book quite conspicuously omits any kind of personal responsibility on their part.

If you could get a Chinese woman to speak directly on the matter, I believe she would say, “My responsibility is to secure resources. And have a baby. But if I can’t have a baby, I still have to access and control resources and serve my parents. Every other activity or thing I do in life are to support those objectives.”

I found this video circulating in my online haunts, and because it so poignantly exemplifies the unapologetic materialism of Chinese women, I felt it was worth a second analysis.

First, I want to say that the purpose of this post isn’t to criticize Chinese ladies in particular. They’re only acting on cultural establishments that enable their behavior.

What I think is most notable about this video is how it strips away any illusion of love playing a part in the process of them selecting a suitable partner to marry.

It even says quite clearly in the video 你没有车, 你没有房, 别想把美女泡上床. If you don’t have a house and a car, you can forget about having sex with pretty women.

I doubt that it’s implying that you will only get ugly women on your bed in that case, but the statement is still a bit disheartening because they are openly admitting that sex is their key stock in trade, not companionship, or love, or the joy of sharing a life together. 

Exchanging sex as a commodity for resources, what do you call someone who does that? I believe there’s a word for that.

In the video, the women sing about how they already have a house and a car, so they don’t need your help. But if you want to be involved with them, you need your own house and car because they refuse to be your mother and allow you to mooch off of them for support.

What’s strange about this part of the song is that it would be practically impossible women as young as those in the video to afford their own homes and cars, so how could they come by those things? Not without the help of their families.

While China is more patriarchal than the West in some ways, it is clear that there is still a fair share of gynocentrism to be found in the culture. Just like the West, some people perceive women to a somewhat sacred source of love and acceptance, and if you can’t win their approval, society pressures you to start questioning your sense of self-worth.

Young men in China are compelled to marry early in life, and it is impractical for them to purchase a house and a car so soon in their careers. So for those unfortunate men faced with huge economic obstacles, what do you think these suggestions do to their self-esteem?

Some people I’ve shown the video to have surmised that it might be a kind of satire. They’ve said that there has been a notable cultural backlash in China against women that will only marry if a house and a car comes as part of the package. While it may be a possibility, I’m doubtful.

I found a blog post which succinctly provides some insights on the matter, but I will try to reiterate the arguments here. Excessive materialism from Chinese women is influenced by the following factors:

Despite the economic advancement of China, many are still poor and the people retain a mentality of scarcity. “At any moment, starvation might befall us.”

Chinese mothers teach their daughters that marriage is a means to end. Romance is nice, but it doesn’t pay the bills. They teach their daughters that they must take care of them. Parents MUST be put before personal relationships. Economic security is a must, at all costs. 

Even if it results in them being a mistress or engaging in prostitution. They also warn their daughters that men will only be interested in them for a short time before they go looking for a younger sex partner.

So if you're a foreigner, and you know your Chinese bride is going to put her parents before you, why would you want that? You will always be seen as a utility in her eyes; you're a work mule that will always be a second-class family member. 

Another aspect of life in China that promotes disappointment: 

When poor Chinese men look for a young wife, they get rejected.

Extramarital affairs are common among married men in China. Established, married men know that they don’t have to be burdened with commitment to their young girlfriends (or xiao san, 小三，the third person in the relationship).

They buy the young women gifts, expensive meals. But they don't commit to them. 

Women, believing that cash is king, accept this – shooing away other potential partners without ever accepting that they may one day decline in sexual desirability.

Then the younger women come of age and into the city, squeezing the older women out of the market. Women end up single in their late twenties and told that they are “left over.” And I know that they’re out there, plenty of aging women without boyfriends still waiting for a man with house and car to commit.

Who would’ve ever thought that an excessive fixation on material wealth would end unhappily?